This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

This Is A Custom Widget

This Sliding Bar can be switched on or off in theme options, and can take any widget you throw at it or even fill it with your custom HTML Code. Its perfect for grabbing the attention of your viewers. Choose between 1, 2, 3 or 4 columns, set the background color, widget divider color, activate transparency, a top border or fully disable it on desktop and mobile.

lovebangrabbitinabar

Foreign dudes are always trying to holler at me. I just have that look. And one move that gets them rejected every single time is when they come at me with some girly-ass Mandarin.

When you drop that “Duì a!” or say some shit like, “Nǐ sì bù sì Sànghǎirén?” I can already tell what you’re all about. I know your history. I know what kind of folks you’ve been hanging around these last few years while you’ve been finding yourself in China.

It’s not happening honey.

But to help you in life, in business, and in love, I’m gonna school you on six ways to avoid sounding so damn soft when you’re trying to spit some huà. Of course, if you want to sound like a Taiwanese Princess, that’s on you, but it’s weird and confusing when you’re supposedly straight.

LoveBangMandarinRules1

Worst. You don’t live in “Zōngsān Gōngyuán” – you live in “Zhōngshān gōngyuán”. And no, we’re never going to “yīqǐ cìfan”. Now go home and watch some TF Boys videos. Bye.

 

LoveBangMandarinRules2

You probably learned those phrases like “Wǒ è sǐle” and “Wǒ xiǎng sǐ nǐle” from Vivian at the English corner. Forget them like you forget her..

 

LoveBangMandarinRules3

Dudes saying “Duì a” is a major turnoff. You’re much better off just saying “duì” or “N.” (Or just say nothing at all and silently affirm like a cab driver).

 

LoveBangMandarinRules4

Not even once. Zhīdàole o?

 

LoveBangMandarinRules5

One time this investment banker bro told me, “Bùyào zèyàng la!” and I spit my drink in his face.

 

LoveBangMandarinRules6

Not if you’re a grown-ass man arguing with a bǎo’ān about where you can park your scooter. PS I don’t wanna ride on your scooter and I hope the cops take it.

 

bonus

Nine times out of ten, you’re dropping terms like “lǜchá biǎo” two years too late and way out of context. Stop trying.

Look honey, I’m just telling you what everyone else is too polite to tell you. Believe me, I’m not the only one who feels like this. Real sisters, you know what I’m talking about.

– Relationship Counselor Rabbit

xx

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By | 2017-11-07T07:49:32+00:00 March 7th, 2017|Categories: LB Comix, Stories|Tags: |0 Comments